Text; Proverbs 18:22
” He who finds a wife finds a good thing… ” -NKJV
BUT THE QUESTION IS…
Who is a good wife? At least, if you know what you’re looking for, only then can you know when you’ve found it. It’s important for both men and women (especially those who have not yet married) to understand, from our text, that: just being a woman does not make you a wife. You are only a wife when you are “a good thing”.
That’s why I always say to the single women, “Women are born; but wives are made. Use your days of singleness to prepare yourself. “
This is one thing men have to understand before approaching any woman (not girl) for marriage. Because you’re not just looking for a woman, you’re looking for a wife -a good thing,a suitable help for you in life and the pursuit of your dreams; not just a “cooker” of your food, a “borner” of your children, or a sex object! An asset, not a liability!
WHO IS A GOOD WIFE?
God has the answer to every question in the Scriptures (2 Timothy 3:15-17). If you’re ignorant and blind to the truth, it’s your fault… and don’t you dare blame anyone for what you get!
Now, let’s look through The Living Bible translation of Proverbs 31 and get some hints about who a good wife is…
♡ She is worth more than precious gems (i.e., nothing else a man possesses can be compared to a wife in his life!).
♡ Her husband can trust her.
♡ She will richly satisfy his needs (it’s never about her! ). ♡ She will not hinder him, but help him all her life (so a good wife will never leave her husband… ).
♡ She works, makes her own wealth (not depending on her husband for everything; not a “housewife”, not an “oriaku”), no excuse for laziness or idleness!
♡ She is a home maker (manages her children and servants well ( so God expects a wife to have servants, house helps -yes! )
♡ She’s interested in their welfare.
♡ She cares for the poor and generously helps those in need (so, she’s not stingy or selfish with what she and her husband have; neither is she a dog in a manger).
♡ She takes care of her looks.
♡ She’s a woman of strength and dignity – never causes her husband any embarrassment.
♡ When she speaks, her words are wise.
♡ Kindness is the rule of everything she says.
♡ She’s a woman who fears and reverences the Lord.
Then it concludes with these…
” Praise her for the many fine things she does… These good deeds of hers shall bring her honor and recognition from people of importance. “
CAN ONE SEE ALL THESE IN A WOMAN BEFORE MARRIAGE?
Of course! That’s why courtship is important before wedding! If you give time for courtship, with dating and constant fellowship (minus sex of course! ), it is easy to give at least 50% assessment of the kind of wife a woman will be. Don’t rush into marriage. No excuse justifies that!
That’s why I don’t believe in marriage by proxy (through pictures). A picture can show you the packaging, but not the content! It’s the content that is the wife.
I also don’t advocate long distance courtship (i.e. by phone calls, video chat, Skype, whatsapp or Facebook).That’s making a joke of the foundation of your marriage. You will have no one to blame when things begin to fall apart!
IF YOU’RE ALREADY MARRIED…
If you’re already in marriage, with your help, encouragement, patience and understanding, you can still help the woman you married to be all these things. Yes you can! And yes, she can change!
HOW DO I BECOME A GOOD WIFE?
(…to be continued).