Courtship sjould last for
as long as it takes both of you to know and understand each other deeply-very deeply!
During this period, don’t pretend; don’t sweep anything under the carpet.
Don’t say in your heart “just wait till we get married, I’ll change him/her; I’ll let her know that he/she cannot talk to me like that”. No!
Courtship is the time to make up your mind about things and take decisions right there and then.
If your fiancé/e continues to manifest attitudes and behaviors (consistently),that you know you can’t handle or live with in future, courtship gives you the opportunity to take a decision about it (whether) to call it quits, or begin to practice how to manage it without ”blow-ups”.
Do you see why you can’t and shouldn’t rush into marriage?
You must marry your friend, not a stranger- because you will be living together, for very long, mind you!
Those who “chicken” out of marriage are very immature and very irresponsible.
That’s why marriage is not for boys and girls. It’s for people who have matured into men and women of especially, spiritual and mental prowess (money and material things will naturally flow).
Our second daughter got married two years ago. They are so, so happy and contented. Shortly after their wedding, when I called and asked her if they were happy, she said “yes”, and that it’s just as if they continued their lives (now together legally).
They were in courtship for six years!They are such good and close friends, because the long period of courtship gave them time to test each other’s love, responses and attitudes. So, there’s nothing new to discover.
There’s no “Oh, I didn’t know you’re like this”. They’ve seen it all and learnt to accommodate each other’s shortcomings.
They’re growing wonderfully and joyfully into “one flesh”! The long courtship gave them time to mature all round! You know what that means?
Don’t wait till you are ready to marry before looking for who to marry.
May I say this; it is the man who has the responsibility of looking for a wife. Women don’t look for husbands.
The woman was created to be found. So all she needs to do is to prepare, train and groom herself into a wife.
Because it is a wife the man is out looking for (his own wife as a matter of fact), not just a beautiful girl or a university graduate.
A man should know when its time to get into the relationship that will end in marriage. Courtship gives such a relationship time to grow stronger, blossom into marriage.